Unpacking the Reading: "This is Great!! He just got his first fat lip!!" (Newman, 112)

We go through life looking at people surrounding us, observing what they do, how they do it, and what they look like. From an early age this socialization process is natural and ingrained in our development. Can we raise children not to notice these differences and be androgynous in our distinctions? As hard as people try to do so, it takes a lot more than buying both son and daughter a gender-neutral gift. As the story in the opening of the chapter showed us, the boy and girl found ways to make the Lego's feminine or masculine in their use. As much as we want to be able to make it boundary free, the invisible learned boundaries of our culture still remain. We can train our kids, or children to be one way or another, we see this all through elementary school, and even more so in middle and high school. We learn what is "girlie" what is "macho" and we take on these roles because they are what is accepted.

Newman admits to succumbing to these stereotypes himself of gender biases/roles...when his 11 month son fell and got a fat lip, he was ashamed to admit that his first gut reaction was to take it "as a male rite of passage. After all boys are supposed to fall down and get hurt...I celebrated his injury." Boys and girls from the moment they enter the world are shown symbols of their gender. Baby boys get the blue blanket, and girls the pink. We all know this. It is deep in our subconscious to make this differences between genders, and to try to undo the thinking that is so natural to us is unimaginable.

I thought that Newman raised some interesting and well taken points in this chapter. He spoke of how in our society it is okay for females to be boyish, they are called "tomboys" and it is looked at as a stage that they grow out of. But is less accepted if your a boy and are effeminate. I was a tomboy growing up, had short hair and was friends with everyone. Not just the girls. I liked to play dirty and play rough sports with the boys, not like all the other girls. I was accepted, and it did turn out to be a stage for me. I do not consider myself to be a tomboy anymore. But the point of the matter is that, in this case, it is easier to be female...taking on the stereotypical traits of the male is more commonly seen and not a big deal to people.

Regardless if the learned differences are gender, race, sexuality or social class based, Newman states: "All of us in one way or another are a reflection of larger cultural values, historical processes, and the attitudes and expectations of other people in our lives."

We can question these differences, even try to change them. But the truth of the matter is that we hold the majority's behaviors/roles as "right" and how things should be. As we become more open as a society to altering these socially constructed roles we can start to explore a whole new grey area of identity. If we stop looking at things in opposites or black and white in situation, we create a chasm of possible variations. Endless identities.