Observation Journal # 4: "The wieght of the issue"

As a preface to my story I think we need to state the fact that in our culture body image and weight are strongly emphasized over other aspects; so much so that the psyche of millions of women and men everday are effected. This shouldn't be a surprise to read this statement. How many of you have ever heard a friend say something mean and truly offensive about an overwieght individual? Seen the shirt "Not for fat chicks"? Well, I have seen things like this and heard offensive conversations a lot. As a side note, my public speaking class discussed language analysis, and I learned a startling statistic that the English language has something like over 200 words that all mean fat. Although they very in connotation, it is clear that our country is absolutely obsessed with talking about wieght, more specifically focusing on fat. We are truly and positively OBSESSED with it and the ramifications of this obsession manifest itslef varying with intensity depending on how we personally view or accept this fact.

Over the weekend I was at a party and overheard people talking about the "chicks" that were coming. One girl said, "ya I have a bunch of my girlies comin, but I don't want this one girl to come, she's fat..." The conversation went on to talking about whether you like someone more or less because they are fat. It resulted in this girl saying that in fact, she didn't like her because she was fat. Then the conversation got worse. A guy made the remark along the lines of, "ya don't you know that there's a weight limit here...if a girl is too big that it makes less room for another hot girl, she can't be here..." I stood there feeling short of breath and unable to find words. I was so deeply offended that another woman said this about a fellow female. And then even more offended to hear the comment from the male that came afterwards. I hear this type of talk a lot from men, (sorry guys, im not attacking you or trying to single you out as a sex) but I just have not heard it much from females. I was deeply hurt. I am a sensitive individual, and as an extremely non-confrontational person of course I did not say one word. I put my head down and had all these thoughts spinning around in my mind. I wanted to leave. I wanted to rewind time and not be there in that room during that conversation. I wanted to get out..not be aruond people who can be so non-empathetic and hurtful. I have always been so aware of body image and emotions around it...that this just really struck a cord with me.

Why does weight play such a role in someone's acceptance? It does, it's sad, but it really does. And I hate it. What is the "weight of the issue" here? Perhaps the issue is on the surface, superficial thinking...brewing and mounting in people's heads leading to discriminatory comments and conversations that are really hard for others to hear. I wish I had said something, but the truth is...I felt uncomfortable, I felt outnumbered, like I was the only one that didn't look at wieght as something that makes me not like a person. I felt like I was suffocating in the ignorance around me, and at the same time realizing, that I am not much better, because somewhere in the back of my mind...I knew these biases are there, perhaps just less so than in others.

This event has challenged me to now speak up and say something when I am around people who say things like this again. I just am left feeling like I don't understand how people can't think from another's point of view. How can you say something like this, and not think, "wow, thats really hurtful...what if i was the person targeted and this was being said about me?"

Until people challenge, including myself, challenge these hurtful comments about others...it will keep happening and in essence people will become more and more desensitized to its severity. This is very hard to do in a society that preaches its importance all over the media, but it can be done. People can become more sensitive, and perhaps become more aware of the comments they are making, reflecting on the message they are sending not only about who they are targeting, but what it is saying about themselves as an individual. I hope that for the sake of not only those targeted, but the people saying things, that things will change.